PatMarrNC - all messages by user

2016/9/21 1:50:52
2 SHORT VIDEOS IN ONE tonyob67 wrote:
ziggy72 wrote:
So true... and sad Really nice skyline in the first vid, out of the office windows, and nice touch to put the credits on the TV screen. Shame you couldn't polish it a bit more, but hey, life gets in the way!

Did you saw the beautiful statue on the living room table?...Thank you

I noticed Ziggy's statue right away! And I agree that adding a skyline view from the cubicle window really made a difference! That office set has been used many times, but that's one of the coolest applications for those big windows!

I also agree about the credits on the TV! You have lots of good ideas Tony!
2016/9/20 21:48:35
PAT MARR'S CONTEST WINNERS AND REVIEWS I've heard from one person who hasn't been able to DL the assets that are for all the participants. Before I start trying to change what might not be broken for everybody, I need to know if ANYONE has been able to access them.

some testing of my own yielded this information:
if I click the link in Muvizu's message box, it fails.
But if I copy/paste the message to a text editor and clean it up, then copy paste the link from there to my browser's URL bar, the link works. I think the message system here must be adding or subtracting something to corrupt the link.

edited by PatMarrNC on 20/09/2016
2016/9/20 17:09:14
Halloween contest...? MrDrWho13 wrote:
Yeah and they wondered why nobody goes to the gallery like they used to... shake head
Anyway, I don't mind hosting the contest if nobody else does since I won't have time to enter.
I like the idea of users choosing which is best using the forum's voting system. Everyone would be able to leave their feedback in the thread too.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a CONTEST HOST!! ;-)

now all we need is a set of rules, and we can start planning our entries....
2016/9/20 17:05:16
muvizu pro............. I notice the Amazon price is different than the store price...

$29.99 USD in the store
77.96 pounds on Amazon.... according to the currency exchange rate for today that would be about $100 USD

it costs more because it includes all 10 expansion packs that cost extra in the store.
edited by PatMarrNC on 20/09/2016
2016/9/20 14:21:49
Halloween contest...? I'll leave this as an open invitation to anybody who wants to sponsor a halloween contest of their own design...

But if nobody steps up to the plate by Oct 1st, I'll sponsor a peoples' choice contest with no prizes. That way I can enter it too.

Bottom line.... there's gonna be a halloween contest one way or another so everybody who wants to participate should start working on your projects NOW... (you've got almost 6 weeks, so you have NO excuse for not participating except laziness)
2016/9/20 13:42:55
Halloween contest...? well.... in that case... anybody willing to step up to the plate to sponsor a contest for Halloween?
Do we even need prizes at all? Just having a user-sponsored showcase would work for me.

Maybe instead of having judges and prizes, it could be a PEOPLE'S CHOICE contest, which would work like this:

1) declare the contest topic, rules and deadline
2) set up a thread and start collecting entries until halloween
3) set up a poll and let everybody on the forum vote for their favorite.

It would be a lot less work for whoever sponsors the contest because there would be no reviews to write or prizes to pay for. And it would be very affirming to see how the forum population likes your video.
2016/9/20 1:46:23
Halloween contest...? The thought just occurred to me that if anybody wanted to sponsor a Halloween contest... it should probably start no later than Oct 1.. which isn't that far away... less than 2 weeks That would give people a month to whip something together. And I bet EVERYBODY would line up for a Halloween contest! Especially with all the cool Muvizu resources to support it!

Or you could start it today and give everybody 6 weeks. Or not. Maybe Muvizu would even get involved in a Halloween contest!
2016/9/19 20:39:30
PAT MARR'S CONTEST WINNERS AND REVIEWS winners are now posted... scroll to top of the thread!
2016/9/19 19:45:24

0:04 Man, you didn't waste ANY time getting straight to the video! Nice job introducing the story with a very brief splash text super-imposed over the opening scene!

0:50 Ha! Just when I thought the joke was over you ramped it up a notch with stubbornness! Made me laugh!

Not a big fan of backdrops as sets as I know how lazy it is. I have used them, but have used object in front to give some sort of depth and reality to things.

This is a very unusual video, but it did make me laugh. The camera cuts are well timed, and the lighting in the background matches that of the characters.

The head movement and angry actions match what the employee is saying which is good. The long gap after they both say never mind is quite funny, and followed by the whispering which made me laugh.

The next steps to improving this video would be:
Using a higher quality image for the backdrop.
Using more actions or head and eye movement to accompany the audio.

There’s no use of lighting, head or eye movements.

First character action is 50% through the video.

Eye line between characters is poor

I quite like the idea, but there is no real animation going on here and the interaction between the characters didn’t really work.

I found this to be a delightfully and unabashedly GOOFY story... a study in minimalism..., which I enjoyed quite a bit. I've seen musicians try to create a song with only one chord, and I see this video as an animator's version of the same goal.

How long can one joke be perpetuated until it just caves in under its own weight? Every time I thought you had exhausted the joke, you did something else goofy... like making the characters both use the same stubborn tactic of whispering their personal pronunciation preference. I laughed out load at 0:50! Well played!

There isn't a whole lot to comment on.. its a one-joke clip, and I think it worked for what it is. At least, I liked it. Bottom line, it was good enough to score you all the free content offered to contest participants! Can't beat that!

There are multi[le opinions about the use of 2D graphics for backgrounds, and here's my take on that: Sets should be appropriate for the application. If you are building an epic story, then the sets had better be consistent with that goal, or you'll undermine your project. But Muvizu's ability to crank out functional animation very quickly enables people with lots of quick ideas to actualize them. How much effort do you want to spend building a full-blown 3D set for a one line joke? Stated differently, how many minutes of your time on the planet are you willing to trade in exchange for 300 views? The nice thing about Muvizu is that it provides tools for the perfectionist who wants a reallt good output.... and also to the production animator who is all about cranking out several new ideas each week. Best of both worlds, in my opinion.

Especially knowing your experience is mostly in 2D animation where 2D backgrounds are the norm, I see your use of a 2D background here as being the practical and logical choice. In fact, unless there is enough camera movement to take advantage of the natural parallax in 3D environments, I think a 2D background can help you meet deadlines.

I find it interesting that even in HitFilm they advocate using layered video at different Z depths to create a parallax effect... whish is basically the same as using 2D graphics positioned at different Z planes.

Zayha.. I want to close here by thanking you for participating in my contest! I also want to say that I am very pleased to have you on the forum, and I look forward to seeing more of your work (both here and on the Facebook group Amateur Animators) I am easily inspired by the cool things my friends are doing, and inspiration is a great gift to receive. Thanks for that!
2016/9/19 19:14:07

0:17 gee, I was really liking the theme song when it just dropped out!

0:30 absolutely no lip movement to support the dialog!

0:33 interesting use of video and audio effects to create a "flashback" to what Mom was doing at her age....

0:38 This appears to be a spoof of a TV show about the classic dysfunctional family... and I get that TV these days allows language that would not have been OK in the not too distant past. But the rules did say that language in the contest submissions should be child friendly. And I also understand that the word... um... "Beeyotch "... has been stricken from many peoples' list of offensive terms. But, as it continues to remain on many lists, I have to comment.

There are all kinds of things that make people click away.. a slow pace... polarizing topics... language etc. In the context of this contest as learning tool for people who read the reviews, I think it's worth pointing out that language choices can lead to click-away. On the other hand, when presented to the right audience it probably leads to multiple forwards. So I suppose in the final analysis, this brings up the need for animators to know their audience and speak in whatever language they prefer.

0:56 I like the way you have presented this as a sitcom playing in front of a live audience, with all the sound effects supporting the illusion of audience response! Very cool! I'm actually surprised a lot more people don't do this. There have been studies done on comedy shows presented with and without laugh tracks, and the conclusion overwhelmingly showed evidence that TV audiences preferred shows with a laugh track. It costs them money to add the laugh tracks, so you know they wouldn't do it if there was no benefit derived from it.

1:27 - 1:33 there are some visual transitions going on that I don't understand.

1:37 "Lilith.. is that a dead body?" Interesting line on which to end ;-)

disqualified as It did not comply with the competition rules about child-friendly language. I’m no prude, but is the language necessary – the rules state it needs to be family friendly.

Some good use of editing effects, but the cutting is jumpy elsewhere and distracting.

No real idea what this was trying to achieve.

The pitch shift on the voices made bits difficult to understand.

I literally have no idea what’s going on in this video. Maybe I don’t watch enough sitcoms? Anyway, from what I have seen, this is very similar in format to sitcoms in the US which is good (Lots of sound effects and canned laughter). In the future, maybe slow things down a bit and make it a tad clearer.


I think this is an interesting and edgy video that could be very well received by the right target audience. As this was basically a snippet of an idea and not a full-blown episode, it took me a number of views before it dawned on me what you were trying to accomplish (a sitcom type show)

Based on what I've seen here, it looks like you have ideas already in place for how the family dynamic would play out in various story lines. I can see this developing into a full-blown series with a cult following if that's what you want to do with it! I'd guess that youtube is a good place to find your target demographic too!

I think if I were you and wanted to develop this, I'd start hanging out on a writer's forum in order to hook up with collaborators. That way you could combine other peoples' writing strength andyou'd be free to focus on your own core strength of animating the story in Muvizu!

Thanks for taking time to enter this contest! I appreciate your efforts here, and if you decide to advance the project to the next level, I wish you the best of luck!
2016/9/19 18:32:41

0:22 halfway into the 0:44 second video before we see the value you've added to the starting clip! I only mention this because I think taking too long to develop ideas is a common thing that nearly every animator needs to be keenly aware of, and since lots of non-participants will be reading these reviews, I want to make sure that stuff like that gets mentioned every time.

0:23 I hope people notice that you have masked out the old sky and replaced it with a completely different sky! A very cool trick to know for any of us!

I also have to comment on the clarity of your dialog here, because I know you struggled with that not long ago, and it appears you have totally solved whatever difficulty was bogging you down! I hear no hiss or buzz or artifacts of any kinds in this audio! Great job!

0:27 I like the particle-based mummy character.. I can see lots of applications for it! I think it looks cool when the cloud changes direction. You're gonna have to teach me how to do that!

0:33 And I have to comment on the mention of my name here! Not that I want to be mentioned at all (I'm an introvert and I try to stay invisible) but your willingness to draw others out speaks well of you as team player. You have been a very positive person on the forum, and I know I'm not the only person who appreciates that! Thank you for adding your positive vibe to our little group of friends!

This video shows great technical skill despite having very little story. It’s nice to see how you started and how you much different green screening you added. There’s not much else to say about this film really.

There is some Muvizu in here, but not that much.
More of a proof of concept than a fully rounded idea.
Also I can see the borders of the particles on the mummy and it seems to reset itself as if it’s in a loop.


Rocque, I want to end by saying "THANK YOU" for taking time from your VERY busy schedule to participate in my contest! I completely understand that in order to find something to submit, you combined HitFilm practice with a little bit of Muvizu... so there isn't a whole lot of Muvizu here to talk about. However, I think that's cool, because part of my goal with this contest is to show people what others are doing, and many people on the forum are combining HitFilm with Muvizu. In that context, your submission is particularly suitable.

I know that some of your decisions in this project were made to compensate for problems that were bogging you down, and I want to say that I think the way you adapted by creating the particle mummy is very clever!

I appreciate your influence in letting many of us know abou the course on HitFilm! Without your prompting I probably would not have taken it. In retrospect, I can see that it was a good move that will help me to polish my Muvizu projects. Thanks for that!

Above and beyond the contest, I thank you for your gracious and positive presence on the forum. You are very easy to like, and I think your presence is part of the reason why the forum is such a friendly place to hang out! I hope you continue to grace our group with your presence for a very long time to come!
2016/9/19 18:03:13

Throughout the video I like your use of background and ambient noises to put your character at one with nature. ;-)

0:03 I like the stylized use of mountains rising up out of the fog, as is so common in traditional Asian paintings. It really helps to set the mood for your story. A similar touch would have been to use an oriental style bristle brush font for your title and credits. The music playing during the intro sounded somewhat like a MIDI version of a koto or other Asian stringed instrument. Nice touch.

0:29 to 0:40 Eleven seconds of audience attention span is a lot to spend on one gaze.

0:43 As shown, his center of gravity would cause him to tip over to the viewer's right. Putting him on a separate layer so his body angle could be rotated a little to the viewer's left in your video editor would be a great way to compensate. Or, to accomplish the same thing in Muvizu, you could angle the column, then tilt the camera to make the column look straight and the character look tilted. There's nothing in the background that would give it away.

1:03 to 1:27 Like the long gaze at the 0:29 marker, 24 seconds of no movement or change could be an invitation for viewers to click away... but in this case it totally works for me, because it nails down the idea that he's in the middle of a long and boring task... and the viewer has to endure a piece of it in this scene. In the rain. Kinda drives the point home... ;-)

At 1:37 we begin to hear the plane approaching... the guy looks to the left (his right) twice yet has nowhere to go. Poor guy just has to stand there on one leg and wait for the inevitable. I've had days like that myself. Recently. ;-)

1:52 Nice job on animating the plane as it flies past... was that a key framed model animated in Muvizu? A 2D graphic on a backdrop in Muvizu? Or a layer in your video editor?

1:54 Based on the length of his scream as he fell, that must have been a pretty high pole! But then, maybe that's why he was in plane territory!

1:56 I like the way you have created a signature logo for all of your videos. Good way to build brand recognition

This was a slow video, but the story was good.

The sound effects/dialogue/ambient noise were great in this video.

The lighting when the character stood on the pillar was very good because it gave the impression of sunset.

If you varied the lighting from shot to shot then you can give a visual representation of time passing.

When the thunderstorm appeared overhead, you could have darkened the scene, although the effects were used well in this shot.

Showing the character beginning to lose his balance at the end is good.

The plane appearing at the end is a nice twist and you can feel the pain after it hits the character and he has to start the challenge again.

Just a minor point I’d like to add: The Doppler effect dictates that the pitch of the sound gets lower after the plane has passed, so it sounds like the plane has passed overhead when it’s actually still coming towards you.

Overall pretty good, and a great start for someone who has just begun making video with Muvizu.

Why are his eyebrows 3 inches from his face ?

Good use of music and not a bad idea at all.

Maybe some tighter editing here and there, but the whole – “2 hours/1 hour to go” is nice.

It’s a shame you chose an action for the test that Muvizu does not provide. Sometimes the limitations of Muvizu have to dictate the story.

Not sure the final shot completely works. Overall a good effort.

The story has a start middle and end and is executed well. There’s something to build on here.


I first saw your animations on Facebook's Amateur Animators group, so I know that you also use other software and have a bunch of projects under your belt already. You may be fairly new to Muvizu, but aren't new to animation! I am pleased to see you here on the forum... I think its good to have people in the mix who know the tricks and techniques used in 2D animation because a lot of that is directly usable in Muvizu. But it's worth mentioning that there are some new things you can do in Muvizu that CAN'T be done in 2D animation programs, and I'm happy to see you exploring the possibilities.

Although a decision was made to base contest comments on a high standard, we realize that not every participant in the contest has the same amount of experience with the software. Nevertheless, the advice given by the judges is good, whether or not you are at a stage in the Muvizu learning process where all those detals matter to you yet. I think that your video shows quite a bit of knowledge about Muvizu's capabilities, and that your story is well served by the techniques used. Its worth mentioning that all of the judges liked this video.

Thank you for taking time to participate in this contest, and for joining the forum! I like what I see from you, and I hope to see a lot more as time goes on! Great job!
2016/9/19 16:33:06

I basically like the short 5 second intro.. but I was ready to move on at 3 seconds. In order to keep viewers from clicking away you basically have to keep the pace moving faster than seems appropriate in the design phase

0:06 I like the bird flying overhead, and the relative size of the plant growing near the slug village. It reinforces the fact that these are very small creatures. I'm going to guess the bird was a green screen animation since it doesn't cast a shadow on the village as it flies over. (It would if it was key framed in the Muvizu environment)

0:30-0:34 this dialog really cracks me up! ;-)

0:35 Love the way you imply Baby's entrance from the left by diverting the attention of both male slugs in that direction!

0:39 the sexy music that accompanies Baby's entrance to the video is the perfect audio accessory to her bedroom eyes (Complete with long, slow blink)! And I have to say, it creeps me out to say those words about a slug! LOL! You did a masterful job of making this scene work exactly as planned!

0:53 the awe-struck look in the eyes of the boy slugs is priceless! How did you resist the urge to give boobs to the female slug?? You've failed me, Tony! LOL! (Just joking... you've done an AWESOME job in every aspect of this scene!)

1:09 the series of vignettes starting here does a great job of reproducing the kind of scenes from lots of other movies and TV shows in which we see a couple fall in love over a very short number of frames. And the royalty free music you tracked down really supports the scenes perfectly! Well played!

1:38 the switch from perky music to romantic music ramps things up a notch! Great choice of royalty free music! You must have spent considerable time searching for just the right music, because ALL of your background music is PERFECT for your accompanying scene!

1:41 "YOU MAKE ME BE A BETTER SLUG" Hahahahahaha! That's an awesome line! I love it!

1:49 I love the design of this scene, with its color and interesting arrangement of the elements in the scene. Once again, the royalty free music you tracked down is totally right for the scene, enhancing it rather than getting in the way .

I also like the way you have developed the story very quickly with virtually NO dead space. Apart from possibly removing a second or two from the opening, I think you have done an amazing job of making this whole video very concise, funny and totally interesting!

2:11 good use of particles to simulate salt being shaken onto the slugs! And good use of irony to interrupt an idyllic moment with tragedy! You should be a screen writer! LOL! I like the look on the pastor's face! I also like the screams of the wedding guests.

2:27 effective use of camera zoom as the scene expands to reveal the two boys who are pouring salt on the slugs.

2:39 The casual way the boys killed the slugs, then moved on with their daily routine reminded me of LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding. Both stories point out that we are by nature (and without training) inclined to acts of insensitivity toward others. It is a recurring theme in literature, and it works well in Muvizu animations too.

2:50 the irony of the boy's shock at receiving the same insensitive treatment from a different species is classic and well played. I liked the green screen vaporize effect when the boy on the left got zapped

2:56 I like the use of head motion to indicate that there is something of interest in that direction...

3:05 and the related camera zoom out that fulfills our expectations and lets us see what's happening

3:09 I like the cartoon running noise you inserted here

3:13 cool spaceship sound effect!

3:18 I like the view from inside the flying saucer... especially the monitor showing the boy below. Was that done in Muvizu or in your video editor? I'm guessing it was in your editor because there is a slight artifact around the edges, and it doesn't have the washed-out look that AVIs tend to have on backdrops in Muvizu. I also like the subdued lighting in this scene. Also I thought it was well played for the aliens' dialog to echo the boys' casual lack of compassion for other creatures who aren't like them.

3:40 nice scene of the saucer flying away... but the size of the saucer did not reduce enough to maintain a sense of proportion when it went behind the mountains. They'd be so far away that the saucer would be quite small by the time it disappears over the horizon

3:46 non-subtitled dialog... maybe not key information, but I find myself wondering what he said.

3:53 onward ... The unabashed revelry and dancing reminds me of the various endings in SHREK films. Again, the music you selected for this scene is perfect!

Turn off plant swaying unless I’m supposed to be focusing on the foliage (it’s annoying that swaying is the default).

Some camera movement is a bit stop and start. If you don’t get what you want first time then I always just redo it until I do. This can take a while.

The texture for the ground would be better if the image used was higher resolution.

A good idea well executed.

Another consistently great video from Tony.

First of all, I have acquired an unconditional hate for Comic Sans so this isn’t a good start.

The plant on the left of the opening scene seems to be moving a bit too much, but I really like the bird and sky effects.

The camera movement is very shaky, and this can easily be improved with keyframing.

Thanks for the subtitles, but most of the video can be interpreted just from the visuals and sound effects/music which is a sign of good film making.

I like how you have the characters on the football pitch moving around so the scene looks fairly active. (Did you notice that you have one of the blobs on the see-saw lip syncing to the dialogue?)

The slow motion video of “Baby” with the music is a cliché but works well in this context.

I really like how this is looking like a romantic film right up until the last moment when everything falls apart.

Great use of the snow effect as salt but the burning salt grain in the priest could have been tracked or at least key framed in a video editor because it doesn’t move with the character.

I love how it zooms out to the two boys to give you a bit of size perspective.

In another turn of events these two also get obliterated, although I would personally have put the aliens much larger on the horizon to make the humans look tiny.

Without the depth of field, the buildings in the background do look very small - not to scale with the boys.

Good use of sound effects in the UFO.

Overall, a well rounded sketch with few errors.

Final Summary:
Although I'm not posting the numeric scores the judges assigned to each video, I can say that this was one of the judges' favorites! Very fast paced and captivating video! I like your YOYO logo, and I think you are well on your way to creating a signature look and feel for your videos! You have a very engaging sense of humor, and I am consistently entertained by your stories to a very high degree! In short, you have "the knack" of intuiting what works and what doesn't, and therefore you get it right every time! That's a gift that not everybody has! I'd say you are a natural story teller! Muvizu is an excellent tool for you, and you show a high degree of skill with it! I look forward to seeing more from you!

Above and beyond this contest, I am very glad you are on the Muvizu forum. Your participation is valuable and you are a very likable person whose presence makes the forum feel like a place where friends hang out together and talk about their hobby! I hope the powers at Muvizu respond favorably to your request for a Spanish-speaking forum. I think it would work out as well for them as for you! On other animation forums I see quite a large number of Spanish speaking members, and that is a statistic worth noting.

Thanks for taking time to participate in my contest, and for all that you do on the forum! Great story!
2016/9/19 16:02:23

I want to start by saying that I think the use of these old radio stories is an excellent starting point for a really good Muvizu animation! You benefit from the professional writing and voice acting that went into the original production. And the fact that so many of these are now available for free use makes them an amazing resource! When you consider the fact that a video can stand or fall on a variety of platforms... story, voice acting, music, sound effects, animation, editing, character development, set.... inheriting the professional work of others can really push a project over the top

I like the way the scene begins immediately with action as the opening title displays briefly in the foreground

Great job at creating the stern mother character! She's perfect for the role with her mean eyebrows!

Throughout the entire video your use of very subtle body moves and facial expressions creates an amazing credibility to your characters! This requires a lot of thought and patience, which most people won't endure to get this kind of performance out of their characters. Your video shows a high level of mastery at adding such nuance to your actors... more than I've seen in anybody else's contest video. VERY impressive! This requires a keen understanding of body language, which you seem to have in abundance.

At 0.33 Doris's turn looks very natural.

At 0:35 when the mother slaps Doris, the camera angle is part of what makes it work. From just about any other angle it would have looked a bit contrived. I also like the fact that Doris's face recoils in the direction of the slap. Details like that make a huge difference in the effectiveness of a scene.

At 0.55 you appear to have modified the mothers eyebrows to make her look less angry and more resigned. Very effective subtle control of your actors!

At 1:03 the way Doris raises her head slowly to look at the person who just said she's "just no good" speaks volumes with no dialog at all.

At 1:09 I think your portrayl of a 14 year old's bedroom is pretty good. The brightness of the poster on the wall is a bit much for the rest of the scene.

I like the sound effects you have added that weren't in the original radio broadcast. Her footsteps as she runs, and the background sounds like barking dogs, etc. Very well thought-out and executed!

At 1:19 the scene you've created with lighting, textures, field of view and character placement is a masterpiece of framing! VERY nice!

At 2:11 I like the way Doris walks into the shadows. It serves as a kind of foreshadowing (pun intended) that where she's going is a darker place.

At 2:50 the van driving down a dark highway with headlights on the road is very convincing. I noticed you put the vehicle on the right side of the road, consistent with an American story. But then, you're in the Netherlands, and it's my understanding that you drive on the right too. I would be especially impressed to note that detail from someone who lives in the UK.

The Gas station scene beginning at 2:57 is especially impressive. The view through the windshield clearly shows the car's fluid motion as it turns off the road and into the gas station. The faces of the people in the car are hilited by the light in the gas stations sign, which accurately lights up the front of the gas station more than the rest of the dusky scene. VERY well lit set! The view as he walks in front of the headlights is also quite convincing. I notice that the store's light casts a shadow on the car's occupants as the car pulls in too. The whole scene is just sooo well done!

At 3:33 I like the way the characters in the car react to the gun shots... as expected they immediately turn their attention in the direction of the gun shots, and their eyes widen. All of these details had to be consciously added, and it's to your credit that you didn't cut any corners!

At 3:40 the view out the side window does an excellent job of portraying what would actually be visible

At 3:58 the lighting creates a marked difference between this and the previous scene, making it evident that time has elapsed. I like the way the scene eases in with a descending camera move. The set is also very well done. I first thought it was a 2D graphic on a backdrop, but the camera move shows it to be a true 3D model. The car driving by in the background is a nice touch that most of us would probably have omitted. Ikes... you really are AWESOME at this!

At 4:02 I saw the clipping that Ziggy mentioned... although I might have missed it if I hadn't already been prompted to watch for it. I like the way Doris is fixed on Jimmy's gaze... very true to the way that would probably play out. The motel set is appropriate. Again, the field of view works well to promote what is significant to the story

At 5:13 I liked the opening and closing of the door

At 5:19 I like Jimmy's shadow on the wall

At 5:32 I like the way you moved the curtains out of the way as Jimmy looks out the window

At 5:51 it bugs me that Jimmy doesn't have a belt. ;-) I'm grasping at straws here to find things to nitpick.

After watching all those comedies this was a really depressing film. Excellent work as usual, especially on lighting and camera animation/depth of field.

I really liked the animation of the lights used as headlights on the van when it was driving along.

Most of this is beyond my skill so I don’t have many suggestions for improvements.

There’s little bit of a clipping issue when they’re in the room next to each other, and the lighting on the mother is a bit broken, but other than that it’s pretty perfect.

Not sure why the mother is worrying about whether she’s had a drink... she’s gone and got a nose stud! As the soundtrack is from the 50s or such this did grate a little. As she was the only use of the “girl” body shape she doesn’t need another distinguishing feature.

Excellent use of getting into bath action. Brilliant.

Watch the eye line of characters (I only notice as this is something I struggle with). I would also make more of the eye size control.

Turn off plant wobble unless I’m supposed to be focusing on the foliage (it’s annoying that swaying is the default).

Also watch for character limb clipping. This can often be overcome with the use of layers and re-ordering things in a video editor.

Great DOF and use of sets (although the hotel room view from door and window really could have done with some distant objects/backdrop).

This shows that animating to a pre-recorded story is a good exercise in pacing. They have done the work for you and you only need to keep up.

Overall great.

Final Summary:
Although the point score for this video (based on contest criteria in the very first post) was not the highest of all the entries, it was the runaway favorite of all the judges. Ikes, you have some kind of special perception about how information should be presented in order to get the desired reaction.. its a gift that not very many people have in ANY amount, but you have it in abundance. As I watched this video, scene after scene blew me away with the quiet subtlety of your directing choices... all of them excellent, in my opinion.

In the same sense that canaries were once used in mines because they were more sensitive to changes in oxygen levels, you display an elevated sensitivity to the nuances of human interaction. If this were not true, I don't think you would have understood how to make such detailed and accurate interactions between your characters. VERY impressive.

Above and beyond this video, I must say that your presence on the forum has been transformational. You are one of those rare people who sees what others miss, and who shares his knowledge unselfishly. I think that kind of person is very rare and valuable, and that we are fortunate to have you here on the forum as someone who participates and shares his discoveries. Speaking for myself, I am indebted to you, and I hold you in very high esteem. Thanks for all that you do on the forum, and for your participation in this contest! I look forward to seeing EVERYTHING that you come up with.. but for now, I can't wait to see part 2 of Doris!
2016/9/19 15:35:28

I liked the background in your splash screen for GMAN7877 PRODUCTIONS

The intro is wayyyy too long... text needs to remain on screen BARELY long enough for people to read it.

The drummer's count-in stick taps should have had matching sound effects

Switching scenes between the musicians is a good way to keep it visually interesting.

Given the message you are trying to get across to your audience, I'm not sure I get the connection between the introductory music video and the dancing dog. Everything up to about 2:22 seems like a completely different story to me. I guess your point is to engage a young audience and get their attention. But the risk is that if you FAIL to get their attention, you've lost them before your REAL message even starts.

at 3:02 you define the theme of your video: "TEAM GREAT IS ALL ABOUT HELPING YOU TO MAKE GOOD HEALTHY CHOICES" I think that is a great summary of your intent for this video! As such, everything else in the video should support that theme. As you edit a project, you have to be honest about which scenes support your theme, and heartless about removing anything that is superfluous. Every film maker hates to remove scenes they've invested time and energy to create, but sometimes it is a necessary part of making a video (especially an informative one) concise and to the point. In this age of wayyy too much information, if you ramble, people will click away.

I liked the dog's backward walk as he exited the stage after saying "I'm out". It's not what you normally see, so it piqued my interest.

Starting at 3:26, I think you did a good job of setting up the bully scenario. Showing the "target" walking alone as the bullies approach tells the viewer a lot without having to say anything. The background music you selected for the scene did a good job of creating an appropriate mood of tension, suggesting something is about to happen.

At 4:09, the advice "REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE SITUATION" is good, and about what I'd expect to see in a video that offers practical advice to people who find themselves in a situation where their safety may be compromised.

I like the use of different camera views (street level, overhead etc) to develop the story. It adds visual interest which keeps the viewers attention.

at 4:46 when the heroes appeared, I felt like the story took a wrong turn. What started out as a lesson in pro-active self-determination through good decision making turned into a message that imaginary heroes will appear out of nowhere and save you if you get in trouble.

Information about how to tactfully negotiate or verbally disarm a volatile situation would be consistent with the idea of a pro-active approach to managing one's own welfare. Alternatively, you might include information about pepper spray, basic self-defense techniques that might buy enough time to escape...

Or maybe since you referenced the dog who called for help and included the advice DON'T BE A BYSTANDER you could also mention that kids (who all seem to have phones these days) can call for help themselves. That's where, as a police officer, you would tell them what number to call in your area, and make sure the kids all have it stored in their phones as part of the curriculum.

From a Muvizu perspective, I think you used a number of interesting techniques throughout the video. You demonstrate quite a bit of knowledge about how to use the software.

There was a lot of clipping (places where body parts intersected with other things that should be solid, such as the curb intersecting with the fallen bully's head.) Stuff like that can be easily fixed by repositioning characters and re-generating the scene. In some cases clipping can be made less noticeable by showing the scene from a different camera angle which puts the clipped objects BEHIND something else.

Conceptually I think this is an EXCELLENT project idea, brimming with opportunity to teach young people practical and effective ways to manage their own well-being in an imperfect world. I suggest that future videos should focus more on behavioral considerations if you want to sell this as a self-help series of videos.

Or, you could just let it be entertainment and just disregard most of my observations (which are all focused on preserving the video's integrity as a teaching tool)

I liked the line "What do you know about FAIR? You're a bully!"

My general takeaway is that a more concise version of this might come in at about 5 minutes (as opposed to 8) and if you got in the habit of making shorter scenes power-packed with just the bullet points you want to make, you would free up considerable production time, enabling you to make more videos in the same amount of time. If you plan to make a series out of this, time will definitely become a consideration.

45 seconds of silent opening credits ... that’s 10% of the running time. This is way too long and most people will have terminated their viewing by the time the action starts.

Not really sure what the point of the music at the start is. The video would be better without it, especially considering the 6 minute suggested running time.

Some good camera positions and editing throughout the main story.

Could do with increasing the pace a little to make the whole thing zip along.

For the next episode I would also get some friends to help out with the voices so that there’s more variation.

Overall it’s a bit flabby.

I like this story, simple for kids, with morals, and incorporated into a fun video.

So from the start: The titles are a bit slow for my liking. Over 40 seconds when they should probably be under 10.

The animation of the characters playing music is good and in time, although the set is a bit bare. Maybe you want to try out some of the built in sets for this, or some from the Muvizu store?

The music is louder than the voices so maybe that needs to be turned down a bit. Personally I think the music lasted a little too long, but I don’t know exactly what kids would want.

The sound effects are pretty good, like the step sound effect when the dog does a flip and the crying sound effect at this point.

This introduction is long, but probably required to fully introduce the video to kids.

The shot that says “target” could probably be shorter since the audience can get the idea in half that time.

The lighting on this set could be improved, but it is clear that it’s night/late evening.

The invisibility thing is portrayed well, but an effect or action when they switch between visible and invisible might make it clearer.

The voices could probably be louder/clearer in this video, which is more obvious during the fight scene. This section could probably do with a bit of background music to create tension.

The bird sound effect after the guy gets knocked out is great.

Overall, a great film for kids.

Final summary: GMAN, I think you are onto something here. Your idea of using animation to reach kids is just AWESOME, because at the age when kids are still reachable, they are inclined to watch cartoons. Its a good tool for the intended audience! Also, it is a worthy and necessary goal and a good use of your time! While more flippant animators like me are making fart videos, you are dedicating your time to craft messages that will almost certainly present kids with a life-changing message. I have to respect that! A lot!

Please be aware that we know not everybody who entered the contest is a pro... but we decided to make observations as though you were... with the assumption that everybody here has potential to animate at an advanced level. I'd love to see this idea of yours take off and get adopted by school districts where bullying is a problem! And it looks to meas though you are well on your way, with a pilot video and some feedback from an experiences community of other animators. You clearly have a pretty good handle on the software, and I look forward to seeing more episodes about Team Great! (and anything else you may want to post to the forum!)

Thank you for participating in this contest... I'll PM you a link to the prizes as soon as I get all the reviews finished.

(judge comments randomly intermingled)
2016/9/19 15:08:55

Visually stunning opening scene with huge water vista and no discernible seams! It's impossible to tell if the scene was layered in HitFilm or Muvizu, but it looks to me like the environment dome with a good sky texture and ground texture set to animated water texture... with a 2D graphic island on a backdrop or editor layer... with ALPHA all around the edges. Unless it's obvious to the contrary, I'll assume everything was done in Muvizu.

0.44 I love your LOGO! Once again, you are the master of imitating whatever you see! Throughout this whole video your version absolutely NAILS the look and feel of the same scene from the original movie! Nice touch finding and using the same font they used in Jurassic Park!

0:50 Again, your version of the raptor feeding compound is just amazing! You must have either a photographic memory or a large collection of videos that you can use as a reference guide when you make your models!

0:54 I like the way the scene opens with descending camera move, and the way you double-duty the opening frames for credits

1:00 Using the original score by John Williams adds to the look and feel of the original... but it also puts you on shaky ground legally. While its true that small fish like us are probably not interesting to their lawyers, it concerns me that we don't know what technology might be used in the future to prosecute copyright infringement. The technology already exists to silently collect evidence for years, then in one fell swoop to present a class action lawsuit against thousands of defendants at one time. And the defendants would all lose.

The use of protected music also disqualifies this video from winning the cash prize. But, its still an absolutely AWESOME video, and I'm reviewing it as such.

1:06 this dialog is pretty much ripped right from the movie. Again.. it adds to the look and feel, but it increases your legal liability. Whereas you might argue that your own spoof dialog constitutes an allowable commentary on their franchise, including their concept, their music and word for word dialog is indefensible. Just sayin'. I like you and I'd hate to see something bad come of your awesome talent.

1:38 the scene is a great portrayal of the same scene in the movie... although, I found myself wishing that the cow would turn his head toward the audience and crack some Clayster-esque joke ;-)

1:44 the characters here are excellent portrayals of the original characters! Especially the owner of Jurassic Park!

2:00 I like the way you made the trees shake when the raptors started making noise. Little touches like that really make things interesting!

2:21 Awesome spoof on the Chick-Fila ads! And a totally unexpected twist! Nice touch finding and using the same font used in the Chick-Fila ads! On my screen, the sign looks darker than other objects in the scene when it should be the focal point.

2:26 Nice touch inserting a MOO! to let the audience know that no cows were hurt in the filming of this video...

2:31 Whatever the character on the right said after the character in the middle laughed was hard to understand. It sounded like "Crocky", but that doesn't make sense to me.. apparently there's an inside joke here that I don't know.

3:00 Again, I have to wonder if showing the same credits at both ends of a 3 minute video is an effective use of your audience's attention span.

Ratio of credits to story is: 100 seconds of credits to 218 seconds of story. (46% credits!) Expanding on your Chick-Fila theme, that's like McDonalds' burger to bun ratio!

Another great video! To begin with I like the animated water texture, and what I assume is the mountains put on a layer above the original set in a video editor. While a slow zoom into the image would be a subtle improvement, this section is very professional. I especially like the logo with the Muvizu skeleton. Great attention to detail!

The camera movement downwards introduces you to the next scene very well. (Although I dislike the not centred text). The audio quality could be improved on that scene, but I’m aware that most people don’t own high quality microphones.

It’s great how the camera follows the cow into the pit slowly and ominously.

The clipping from the leaves through the cow does break the immersion a little though.

The sound effects for the dinosaurs is way too loud at this point. You have to turn up the volume for the voices and then you get ear-raped by these sound effects.

The animation of the trees is good to give the viewer an idea of what’s happening without actually showing them.

The joke is well executed, and very clear. However, there seems to be some sort of issue because the trees glitch twice in the few seconds of that scene as if you copy-pasted the end to make the scene longer.

Another good video (Although you can’t really credit the internet as a source).

Turn off plant swaying unless I’m supposed to be focusing on the foliage (it’s annoying that swaying is the default).

Sound quality of the dialogue do not match the quality of the rest, which is a shame.

That really does look like Dickie Attenborough !

Bit of a pet hate, the movie is 3.38 long. Of that nearly 2 minutes are credits. So 60% of the movie is credits. This is not a good credit to film ratio. Time is precious. Also nearly all of the credits are crediting the same person. A simple “Written, animated and directed by….” would be more humble.

Also watch the position of the credits. Some are noticeably not centred.

Good joke – though would have had more impact if the only swaying trees were the ones when we were supposed to be looking at it.

Final summary:...In spite of the nit-picking here, my general take-away is that this is an absolute KILLER spoof video! Your ability to take an idea and recreate it in a new and funny way is unrivaled here on the Muvizu forum! I'm looking for things to criticize because otherwise I'd be gushing like a fan about how good you are at this. And you are! I think you are the kind of talented individual who should be looking for ways to monetize your talents, either through advertising or animating the novels or short stories of aspiring writers... or maybe by accumulating a large following on youtube and earning money through their ad scheme. Or maybe some other way. One thing's for sure, though, and that is that you are really good at this and I look forward to seeing everything you produce! Thanks again for all the value you add to the forum, and specifically to this contest! I appreciate your help and I respect your various and wide-reaching skills... thank you for sharing them with the people in this forum!

(judge comments have been randomly intermingled)
2016/9/19 14:40:16

I think the spoof on a well known production company's trademark intro is clever. With a feature length show you can get away with such a long intro, but when your whole video is 2:53 long, a 42 second intro comprises 23% of the whole show! Then there's an additional 10 seconds of credits at the end, for a grand total of 30% extraneous content! (52 seconds of fluff divided by 173 seconds total = 30%)

I know you manage a movie theater, so you are perhaps conditioned to accept the fact that movies these days contain about a half hour or more of ads and promos before the main feature begins. But what works in theaters doesn't necessarily work on the web, where people haven't paid to get in, and will click away in a heartbeat if you don't hold their attention.

Having said all that, I still think the intro is clever and well done. I realize that above and beyond contributing a video for a contest, you also like to entertain your friends, and that is how I interpret your intent here.

The lighting throughout the video looks very good to me unless otherwise noted. I like the film noir look in films that are tragic and/or scary.

The water rippling in the footprint is a great takeoff on the scene from Jurassic park! No doubt you did that in HitFilm! Points for that!

I like that your opening credits appear over story footage...using the same frames to intro the story and get the credits out of the way saves time and gets the audience involved quickly. But I have to wonder if the same credits need to appear at both ends of a less-than-three
minute story. It suggests that you think the audience has the attention span of a fruit fly. I'm guessing your decision to do that is based on convention that applies to 2 hour long movies.

0:55 I like the camera shake when the T-Rex walks in the distance... I also like the way you synchronized the sound of the footsteps with the ripples and the camera shaking. VERY cool!

1:03 .... over a minute in before the action starts

1:05 ... I like the way backlit fog obscures the end of the jungle road, and the way action emerges from it

1:06 ... I LOVE the way the camera has water droplets on its lens! And I'd bet this came from HitFilm!

1:07 ... GREAT job of recreating the chase scene from Jurassic park!

1:08 ... Nice job animating the Jeep and T-Rex, although the sliding feet detracts from the ovrall effect. Maybe in some cases showing the upper part of T-Rex only, or using an animated backdrop while T-Rex walks in place would be a good workaround... but you already know all that. I have to keep in mind that I'm reviewing this weeks after you figured out how to do it, and although by now its been discussed & analyzed, when you created this scene it was completely new and a real breakout project. So rest assured, I am aware of just how awesome and creative this scene is! Total "NEW" points for this!

1:09 ... The lightning flash illuminates T-Rex's under side instead of his top side. No doubt a reflection from the wet road? ;-)

1:25 - 1:28 ... I like the contrasting light conditions from the lightning, and the way the rain supports it

1:26 ... your T-rex is terrifying here with those soulless eyes and menacing bellows and snarls...

1:29 ...I like the way the guy's eyes remain lit when nothing else is. In fact, it made me LOL

1:29 onward... As the phone messages play and they guy tries to remain motionless, it's funny to watch the look in his eyes. It reminded me of a classic Lucille Ball sort of comedy skit

2:00 ... just when it can't get any worse... T-Rex spit all over him!! An interesting way to separate the two phone messages

2:15 ... the Asian chick's message was totally hilarious, made me laugh out loud! I liked the way his eyes got the mad look when her message played. Clearly, this was the last straw that made life not worth living.

2:30 ... the line "EAT ME, PLEASE" wasn't even unexpected by this time, and it came as a welcome release to the agony you had built up to this point. ;-)

2:40 ... yeah... that chewing noise as the closing credits begin... that's just WRONG!! (but funny)

Judge summaries:: In spite of all the nit-picky remarks in this review, I think this is an EXCELLENT spoof, consistent with the rest of your very impressive spoof collection! Add the fact that you have used a number of interesting and advanced techniques, including a lot of cool post production stuff in Hit film... not to mention incorporating a new type of character with your T-Rex! If this hadn't come on the heels of Ikes' T-Rex, it would be a slam dunk! Nevertheless, there is something to be said for your amazing ability to recreate your own version of just about anything you see... from models to characters to movie paradigms.. you are the Master of Mimicry, the Duke of Duplication, the Royalty of Replication!

It’s well executed. Ramp down the tree swaying a bit, although as it was supposed to be a storm it wasn’t too bad.

Not sure of the tone of the whole thing. It wasn’t necessary to stereotype a whole race for the joke to work. It could have been his wife, or mother, or a smarter angle from a friend.

All of the credits are to the same person. I would turn the humility up and just have one credit per contributor.

There are many advanced techniques used in this video, but together it seems not quite finished.

I like the Digi Factor intro. You’ve cleverly made everything the same colour to give a sort of night-lit effect, and have even fit in a bit of comedy. However, I dislike how it lasts for over 20 seconds when it should probably be under 10. (People have short attention spans; especially on the internet)

The titles are well implemented, following a fairly consistent theme and moving with other on screen graphics. Having the title and “directed by” things overlaid on top of the footprint puddle is very good way of presenting that information.

I like the rain flowing down the camera lens straight away, and the headlight flares tracking the car are great. I’m not sure why there are slow flashing lights in this scene though (Lightning flashes aren’t continuous).

The dinosaur is brilliantly rigged and built, although limitations with its movement make the feet slide along the ground. This breaks audience immersion so you may want to experiment with layers next time.

I like how the dinosaur comes up behind the tipped car looking for the man.

The comedy effect of the answer phone message is brilliant and the slow dragged out time of this is good for the joke. The following message of the woman could be shorter though (And perhaps a tad clearer).

The final part of the camera fading out should probably be straight to black rather than faded, but the overall effect is very good.

Throughout the video, the sound effects and visuals were pretty good, and this is a well rounded film. There are always improvements to be made though.

Well done, Clayster! Thank you for taking time to contribute so much to this contest... not only in terms of submitting two videos, but also for donating one set and making your raptor set available as a gift that can be awarded to participants. I think you are avery central contributor to the forum at this time and I greatly value and respect all that you do here to discover and promote new ways of using Muvizu! I think you have a good future in animation, and we look forward to seeing more from you on the forum and beyond!!

Pat Marr, MrDrWho13 and UKBerty (comments scrambled, not in any particular judge order )

edited by PatMarrNC on 19/09/2016
2016/9/19 14:00:16
PAT MARR'S CONTEST WINNERS AND REVIEWS subsequent messages will be the individual reviews for each applicant.

A link to the zip file containing the prizes for all contestants will be PMed to each contest participant as soon as winners are identified (or shortly thereafter.)

It's taking me a long time to review the submissions, as I'm trying to really look at what each person has done and understand accurately the value you have tried to add to your stories through the tools at your disposal. As I finish each review, I will post it to this thread, so new reviews should be appearing here all day long.

Each of the judges assigned numeric values to the criteria stated in the first message describing the contest. I had originally planned to post the scorecards, but in retrospect I think that might open a can of worms I don't really want to deal with. In a contest where everybody wins something, I'm just not up for being challenged on how decisions were made. Judging is, by its very nature, a highly subjective thing, often based on attitudes and sensibilities that the participants might not share. Bottom line, people who don't want to be judged should not enter juried contests.

I have looked at the other judges' reviews, and I think all of the observations they've made are valid. I will add, however, that everybody has been judged to a VERY high standard, even though many of the participants are relatively new users of Muvizu.

From the standpoint of ego, it can be hard to read honest reviews of ones' work. But from the standpoint of seeing your work through other peoples' eyes, and then learning from it, honest appraisal is a far better gift than any cash prize. You will spend cash, but insight will remain with you for the rest of your life and it will lead you to a higher standard of performance.

Having said all that, let the reviews commence.....

(NOTE: the reviews are presented in random order, NOT in the order of judging... so you can't guess who won by the order in which the reviews are posted... )

edited by PatMarrNC on 19/09/2016
2016/9/19 13:51:11

1) Ikes for his DORIS PART1 : $50 (Excellent work, I'm so impressed!)
plus additional compensation for each copy of his T-Rex character which is being given to everyone who submitted entries to the contest

2) Clayster, for END OF THE CHASE : $40 (You submitted some pretty flashy stuff my friend! You da MAN!)
plus additional compensation for each copy of his new RAPTOR character which is being distributed to everybody who entered the contest!

3) TONY, for his clever and extremely well-done INSTANT KARMA! $40 (Tony! GREAT job! More, More!)

4) the random drawing winner is: Rocque $30 (Congratulations Rocque)

uncompensated honorable mention: Zayha, for his KUNG FU TEST... (very clever short! Welcome to the forum!)

I think everybody's submissions were praiseworthy. I wish I were rolling in money so I could send some to everybody... but knowing that's just not gonna happen, I did at least make provision that everybody who entered got some very nice sets, some of which aren't in the store and might never be. As it is I ended up exceeding my prize budget by more than 100%.. but I think it's money well spent to encourage friends to pursue their hobby, participate on the forum and share their knowledge!

I will get links out to everybody ASAP so you can DL your zip files full of new sets and stuff that you scored by submitting an entry to the contest

Cash winners should PM me with your preference of a paper check (in which case, I'll need your mailing address)
or PayPal (in which case I'll need the email address you use for PayPal.)

If you send me the wrong address, you 'll never get the money, and I ain't sending it twice. ;-) So it's on you to get it right the first time.

Congratulations to everybody who participated.. great job across the board! If you have comments, please share them at the end of this thread. Contest is now officially over!
edited by PatMarrNC on 19/09/2016
2016/9/18 20:54:02
Pat Marr's Contest: Entries due by Sept 15 This thread has grown so large that lag is occurring. Therefore, when I post the reviews tomorrow, I will create a new one.

Winners will also be announced in the new thread
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